Pre-marriage counseling – questions you need to give answer before entering into marriage
Do you even know what is behind the term “pre-marriage counseling”? You are, very probably, not very familiar with it, because it is not something you are going to do a hundred times in your life. However, pre-marriage counseling is an essential step which must be a big part of love couples love or just want to experience before marriage.
Marriage is a big commitment, and people are often not sure when to commit for a long period of time.
It is therefore made up term pre-marriage counseling, which should enable young, but the old romantic couples to become more familiar with the institution of marriage.
Decades behind us, marriage is considered a very strong obligation and it was inconceivable to terminate such obligation. But today is the understanding of marriage much looser because more people do not consider marriage as a continuing obligation to co-exist with someone.
Research shows that in the United States even more than fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.
How do you know if you are ready to get married? And do you want to even go into such a long-term commitment?
Finally, is marriage has a future or slowly becomes thing of the past and disappear like many customs that society rejects?
In today’s fast pace of life, pressure on the institution of marriage is extremely large. But the fact that comes time in which more and more obligations retrieve technologies will compel people to start to develop their emotional side and to begin to deal more with their relationships with other people.
It may sound funny, but call me in twenty years when robots will take over a large part of the industry, and people will have time to develop their emotions more than ever before.
Maybe I am babbling, maybe not. But let’s all dedicate to that part which is why you are here.
Marriage, in my humble opinion, has a very bright future. But before we go any further, it is worth to notice that marriage is not for every person or for every couple. Loose theory of marriage where it is normal to break up and re-marry, is maybe direction in which ideology of marriage moves.
If you are an artist who yearns for a career – a marriage may not be for you! If you are unhappy in current relationship or marriage – a marriage may not be for you! If you are a person who cannot rest and who is constantly seeking for some new challenges – marriage may not be for you! If you are a person who is not ready to sacrifice and to correct their attitudes – marriage is definitely not for you!
Humans were created as imperfect beings! Two imperfect beings form a community that we call marriage and that community cannot just be perfect!
Imperfect woman + imperfect man = readiness for sacrifice and correcting attitudes = marriage.
Do not flatter yourself, no matter how perfect you are, other person will always find a complaint! Coexistence and will push imperfect details we often are not aware to first plan. And it was one of the key tasks of marriage – to correct their imperfections and to become a better man in rule with a happy family.
Let’s get back to a pre-marriage counseling to see where lie pitfalls of marriage.
For the beginning, we would like to refer you to, before marriage, you should visit a marriage consultant to help you open your eyes and present the institution of marriage. In doing so, we should not believe blindly to religious consultants who classify marriage to the fold of faith. Marriage is much more than love and faith and therefore reconsider following items which will show you if you are really ready for marriage.
Love and infatuation is still in first place
In many marriage counseling terms you will hear the word love. But what really lies behind love?
Love is a broad term that covers a multitude of feelings and actions, and combination of all this results in a sense of comfort and happiness. On the other hand, infatuation can be seen in a different way because it is actually a fad that eventually weakens and shows only at moments.
Falling in love is when you feel ‘butterflies in the stomach’ and when someone draws you in the physical or emotional way, but love – it is far deeper concept. Love occurs later, when the initial infatuation pass. You feel love only when you know person thorough, accepting all his or hers virtues and flaws. In fact we can say that love lasts forever, but infatuation lasts just a short time. Therefore, the main problem for a marriage is the loss of infatuation, but also not recognizing and neglecting the love.
Unfortunately, money is on the second place
When you are in love and enjoy life together, it seems to you that falling in love and love is enough for realization of marriage. Many may try to cheat at pre-marriage counseling, but situation is far more complex.
Statistics show that the culprit for most divorce is just money. Whether it is lack of money or the unfair distribution, money could give you a very miserable married life.
Before you marry, you should make some kind of financial plan, and later all the things will function. Many would say, we will take care of the formalities casually when we enter into marriage, but these people will unfortunately taste problems in the marriage. Define who and how to handle money and do not let other side to adopt all the decisions for you. That is your common budget that you spend together and it is very important that together create a double financial plan.
We never fight – our marriage will be perfect?!
No way! If you never argue, your marriage will be disastrous! The reason is that one person is surely suffering and adapts completely to other, and it might be that both are in their inner being completely destroyed.
We mentioned before that two imperfect people cannot make perfection. It is simply a fact, and from it should not be offended. Do you know actually why you never argue with your partner? Because you do not have the courage to stick to topics that are tricky and it may lead to conflicts.
Maybe it can pass in the period of relationship before marriage, but in marriage you will sooner or later have to pitch in and tricky and dangerous themes and then problems will arise.
One of the most pressing problems of today is the lack of communication among people, especially among spouses. If you dare to communicate more about talking about taboo subjects, arguments would be less and very rare. The only question is whether you are ready for such a “drastic” move?
Many will prefer to live in symbiosis with bee nests, but to find courage and resolve it once and for all. Don’t be such a person, take the initiative and solve problems with normal conversation.
My sex life will flourish in marriage
Hmm, you can imagine. Why would in God’s name that happen?
If you believe that your partner will be completely crazy for you after marriage and you will mate like rabbits, you are badly mistaken.
After all, marriage is not so much an important step into a new world. The vast majority of things you did before marriage, will continue in marriage. What is perhaps the biggest problem of today’s understanding of marriage is the fact that it will happen a huge change comparing to previous life. It just is not like that.
If you have ever lived in some kind of co-existence, it is clear that you have shared part of finance, you had sexual life, that you have planned various events together, and so on. It will continue to be like that, a marriage will play the role of correctors of maturity which should show that together you can overcome some complicated love moments.
In marriage, I will finally be happy man
This is closely related to previous thesis. Marriage is not that significant progress, and things in marriage will not suddenly become better. Indeed, every day will be a new painful period and it will become increasingly worse.
If you have never be happy in a relationship, you will not even be in marriage. It was actually time before marriage a period in which you have to solve above concerns and to understand that you really want to live until the end of your life with your partner. Before you resolve all the problems that sickens you and all the little things that bother you, do not go into marriage. First, plan the perfect co-existence, and only then go to confirm that with rings.
Marriage is a waiver. Marriage is forgiveness. Marriage is making mutual decision. Marriage is actually a lot of what is behind the idea of love.
First, learn what love is, then what is a marriage, and only then start building your marriage.
Listen to the advice of various experts of pre-marriage counseling, because it’s only way you will get a true picture of what your marriage carries.
Don’t worry, after all, marriage is nevertheless carries with it many joys in life that you should not miss.
You need a wedding consultation or crave for some quality advice? Write your opinions in the comments or contact us at email: Liveyourdreams.firstname.lastname@example.org