How to improve self confidence? Become a better, more successful, more powerful!
Have you ever wondered in life why you don’t have self confidence? We can list the different reasons why you lack self-confidence, but the only real question after which you will get the answer is exactly why your mindset thinks that you have no self confidence.
Self confidence can be linked to the power and success, because people who have self-confidence usually have the power and success of whatever this means. Intuitively, we can say that these three qualities are closely related, but I would add that they are limited too (at least by today’s human species’ thinking). You must be wondering why.
Imagine a situation at work where you and your co-worker competes for position of executive director or whatever. In duel for this enviable position you have arrived with equal power, equal confidence and very probably with an equally successful business positions. The first few days your competitor negotiated a successful collaboration that raise his level of power and self-confidence on one level higher. But what exactly is going on in your head? As the rivals level increased by one, at the same time is your level of confidence and power decreased by one (and often even more). Next week you agree successful cooperation with two companies and your confidence level increases in a few levels, and your opponent gets depressed because he lost confidence. Little by little, we can conclude that it will increase level of self-confidence of a person affected by reduction in the level of the other person. And so on.
The image of this functioning in the introduction of these three elements (self-confidence, success, power) is easy to find in any sphere of life, especially in business world. People who are bursting with self-confidence most often are very successful and we see them as our heroes. In doing so, they lift up into sky high, and we relegate ourselves to the very bottom of a scale. If you ask me, this is disastrous thinking and behavior of human population!
Whole above theory you can freely to ‘throw in the water’ because it does not really worth it! Power and success perhaps are somehow limited resources because when someone becomes successful other one loses success and power, but it should be emphasized that both power and success are relative terms. We all have different criteria in life, and for someone is a huge success to swim one kilometer wide sea channel, while for other, it is success to have multimillion business that is growing day by day. It is all relative, and power and success have been developed by the ‘weak’ people in order to somehow justify lack of self-confidence and happiness in their life. Confidence on the other hand is not limited and imaginary resource because it is actually a real mover of drastic changes in our behavior.
Let’s now consider a bit very important question ‘how to improve self confidence?’
I am almost convinced that in your head right now is look at world as I previously described it. Clearly, first thing you should do is to get this thinking out of your head. Your confidence will never be build up to a remarkable measure, if you consider people at high positions multiple times valuable than yourself. We are all just people of flesh and blood, and as such from our birth we pave our way to true happiness and our own success.
We just ran into one of the most burning problems when we talk about self-esteem – education. Our parents since childhood are convincing us that power and success are stationed somewhere else away from us. Television and internet push under our nose every day various international stars and great men, making us persons with reduced self-confidence. Perfect life of perfectly groomed star makes them true heroes, and we become less and less important in society, and we are losing power and self-confidence. Yes, this is totally unfair! But culprit is not our parents, internet or television (okay, to some extent is), but culprit is in ourselves or in our brain.
To get a quality response to the question ‘how to improve self confidence?’ we need to look at ourselves, and realize how much we are actually worth. After the rejection of theory of ‘limited amount of self-confidence’, next step is to look at yourself in the mirror and enumerate thirty high-quality attributes that you own. Yes, all thirty or more if you find them.
Here again we come to an interesting fact, which is embedded in our brains. Definitely, you have to admit you have a problem with listing thirty qualities, because they simply do not think about it often (or at all) about how quality we are. We can bet in any amount that you can specify bad sides instead of good qualities. These bad qualities suppress us, and create certain pressure on us, because we are losing confidence because of them, and thus opportunity to stand out and live your dreams. A key problem is that we must think less about our bad attributes, and we should have in mind every day what is worth inside us and with what we are better than others.
We are slowly unrolling a roll of wool and come to another burning problem which is related to the previous item. One of the bad attributes that you mentioned before is surely fear. Fear is closely related to low self-esteem because we are constantly afraid of something and we have fear from something.
But people fear perceive in a completely wrong way. Fear should not prevent us in our plans, but we should go with fear through these plans. What is fear actually? Fear can be called a mechanism within the man who appears to be approaching by danger. There are dangers and there will be dangers and we simple don’t need to run from them. Fear can be called divine emotion because when we rush full throttle forward, fear keeps the brakes somewhere in the mode and it will activate it as needed. Often, people too quickly squeeze the brake, but that is because they are not used to manage fear. It is on you to start to be in harmony with fear and learn how it is yours good ally with whom you can realize your greatest dreams.
Fear arises at a time when we are walking into some new path where we cannot feel comfort zone. Whether it is hiking, opening business, flying in an airplane, after we make that news one or several times, fear will become smaller and smaller because brain will start to think in a different way and accept a new routine that has appeared.
We need confidence to master new challenges and at the same time without new challenges we can not build confidence. What can be concluded from this is that we need to start working on new challenges because this is only way we will build our confidence. It does not have to be a megalomaniac project immediately, but take small steps and build confidence ‘stone by stone’. At the end, your confidence will be increased and you will be happy man.
Finally, here follows a summary of everything that gives you an answer to big question ‘how to improve self confidence?’
- Discard the thinking that you are ‘small man’ and that you will remain ‘small’ forever,
- recognize and implant into your head your quality characteristics and think about them daily,
- surround yourself with real people who believe in your success, and forget about the different inflated stars that adorn media channels,
- accept fear as your companion on the way to finish line and not as a gendarm that does not allow you to enter your earthly paradise,
- discover a new world, accept challenges which you might not find largely amiable – you may change your way of thinking,
- we all have confidence, but it lurks somewhere in us. Open the door and go step by step to secure execution of your dreams.
Do you need more advice or do youhave a question about confidence? Write in the comments and we will try to answer you as best as we can.